| Current Mood: Tired
# of Poops Since Last Post: 0
Sorry for delaying of update. Major reporting must be make. As knowing of you, Halloween being of Octobre (French way of spell... Think I) 31, being Friday of last. First, hydee hyde calling me up saying, "Taking our son out tonight Halloween?" I, already being in costume prepared for GacktJob Halloween Orgy which being crothless thong, leather bow tie, leather boots and cowboy hat, figure not apporpriate costume for young boy seeing. Then remembering, this being my and hydee hyde's son. I telling hyde to picking me up at 6, then hydee hyde adding, "Oh, being one more thing: rest of Laruku, Miyavi, and Dir en grey come trick or treating too. Seeing you at six!" Then hung up. I, being normal of Calm Cool Suaveness, begining of panic. Not wanting to show Magnum to all those people! Then remembering, these being J-Rockers, they already seeing Magnum.
hydee hyde come by Magnificent Splendid Grandiose House at six on dot with son. Son dress just like he daddy (being Wonderful Beautiful Yours Truly) by being vampire! Rest of Laruku trailing behind, all fairies. Tetsu wearing of Dark Blue and Dark Purple, Ken of Pink, and Yukihiro of Brown. Apparent being hydee hyde too pregnant and fat to wear normal fairy costume, so he being Princess Fairy in long pink dress of shiny and crown of rainbow. All looking very sexy turning Yours Truly on, but Tetsu above rest for reasons unknown. Apparent they already gone to few houses, so I, being Flirty Slutty Beautiful Wonderful, stealing piece of Tetsu candy without notice. Before we leaving to being pick up rest of J-Rockers, son of Yours Truly saying to hydee hyde, "Mommy, I wanting licorice whip!" I, being Generous Charitable Loving Father, turn to bowl of licorice whips by door and grab one for son. He shaking head. "No no, Daddy," saying he, "I want that one." He point. At Magnum. I laughing, but apparent hydee hyde having no sense of humor, for he yelling at Yours Truly and tell to get different costume on. hydee hyde marching up stairs with me, throw open closet doors, and grab slightly ripped cat costume for Magnificent Wonderful Spectacular Stupendous Mars Tour of Yours Truly, being Gackt. However, costume NOT favorite part of tour and did not wear on stage during tour, did not WANT wear at present. But hydee hyde threaten with no blow jobs for week if do not put on Hideous Stinky Ragged costume. So do.
We leave, I in cat costume, Ken of L'Arc~en~Ciel making fun. I tell Ken he fuzzy and old, he shutting up. We, all of us, walking to Miyavi apartment. Knocking on door, we hearing sounds from other side. hydee hyde, being massive from pregnant, bust down door with giant belly and we finding Miyavi in room with fifty-year-old salaryman. Repulsion of us all having, hydee hyde covering of son's eyes. Miyavi tell us join in, we all screaming, "NO!" Miyavi, Cocky Stupid Bastard, shrug, then saying to salaryman, "You paying me later." All reveal: Miyavi being prostitute. Is repulsive! Sure, all J-Rockers prostitutes at one point because of hot bodies and impeccable charm, but not after we famous! Oh, understanding now. Miyavi not majors. He indies. All clear now. Miyavi say he costume at House of Dir en grey because left over there after "great sexual intercourse with Totchi." Not understanding how anything with Toshiya being "great," considering he a) having bad teeth and b) not being Gackt. But shrugging and move on.
Next we going to House of Dir en grey. They all living in single house because it being convenient for my story. Miyavi barging in first and run up to Toshiya bedroom. Dir en grey not in sight. Hearing voice, "Waiting one moment!" It sounding familiar, but not knowing what. Sudden, we hearing, "Hi ho, hi ho, it being off to working we to go!" And then whistle. Coming down stairs, being five member Dir en grey and Miyavi dressing in long sleeve tunics, tights, linnen caps, and fake white beards. With great annoyance, they being Seven Dwarves. It all working for Kyo, being Sleepy, because he short beginning with! Kaoru being Grumpy, Die being Happy, Toshiya being Sneezy, Shinya being Bashful, and Miyavi being Dopey. But who being Seventh of Dwarves? Before question asking, sudden, a figure appear at top of stair pushing a glass coffin on wheels. We all stairing as figure sit on top of glass coffin and ride it down the stairs. It come to stop right in front of us and reveal to be Yoshiki as Doc. "Hello," he saying, then pointing to coffin, "this being hide as Snow White." All looking in to finding perfectly preserved corpse of hide in Snow White dress holding red apple with bite in it. All repulsed, but son saying, "Mommy, he being dead?" hydee hyde turning pale, taking out son's owners manual (How to Raise a Child Who is a Product of Two Men), and then replying, "No, sweetums, he just preserved him in vacuum sealed container until scientists find a cure for a broken neck." All sighing. That hydee hyde being good mother. I proud. (Not good at anything else, include singing, acting, writing music, dancing, etc. as Yours Truly, but definate good mother.)
So we starting Trick or Treat. L'Arc~en~Ciel as fairies, Yours Truly as dancing cat, and Dir en grey/Miyavi/Two-Parts X Japan as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. It quite bore, seeing all children out. Meaning I, they being too young for Yours Truly to molest. Son on other hand, already ahead of his game by seducing young boy dressed like Batman into corner and having way with him. That being my son! Daddy proud!
But sudden realize, Tetsu having more candy than son. How possible? Deciding I steal candy from fairy boy and give to son, not self. If having candy for self, bad things happen. Opportune time being when going to Haunted Mansion (actually being Mana's house; he not decorate it at all because it always looking like Halloween). Since I knowing all tricks, I go ahead and hiding in room of many mirror. When Tetsu come, I burst out, pretend being ghost. Tetsu shriek, drop all candy, and run. But not end of plan! I grabbing Tetsu around ankles and pulling him behind mirror. As explain early, I having sexual attraction to Tetsu in Dark Blue and Dark Purple fairy costume. So, having way with Tetsu. He alright, but shrieking many times right in my ears. It hurt and eventually becoming exhausting. When done though, Tetsu want snuggle. I obliging, but needing cigarette when snuggle. So, seeing rolled up white thing on floor where Tetsu drop candy, I grab and light. Sudden realize, it not being cigarette, it being cherry-flavor pixie stick, which having highest concetration of sugar possible! Panicking I, gasp, accidently inhale ALL pixie stick. Sugar go right to brain. Jumping up in bare bottom, accidently kicking Tetsu in face, knocking him unconcious, and running around Mana's house. Sudden, spot Mana. I falling to knees saying, "Please, Mana, helping me!" He shaking head and smirking. He know what evil coming from sugar. Snooty Stuck-up Pompous Mana! Running outside, I spotting many children with candy bags. I pouncing, they screaming, I stuffing candy in face. M&M, Starbursts, Dum-Dums, Peeps, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Mily Way, Candy Apples, Smarties, Gob Stoppers, Three Musketeer, Skittles, even pennies those cheap parents giving out. And worst of all: Pixie Sticks. Can not stopping self! It being terrible! All blurry, all blended into one Gigantic Monstrous Sinister Evil Condition known as Sugar High. Soon, all children running away and no candy left. I left spinning round in circle, sugary foam excreting from mouth and nose, and all while, Dir en grey laughing at me. (How embarass!) But sudden, hydee hyde coming to rescue! I being grab by hydee hyde around both shoulders. "What you doing?" he scream. "Stop this! For our son!" He pointing to son, who crying because not having candy left. I still foaming, mumbling, "Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar..." over and over. hydee hyde slap me, kick me, punch me, run me over with car, but all not stop Crazy Sugar Over-Dosed Yours Truly. Then, he having idea. Since I being butt naked, he grab Magnum and yank. Eyes of mine bug out, skin of mine crawl, testicles of mine shrink in fear of being next. I crumpling over on ground, all sugar leaving blood stream sweating from Immense Excruciating Intolerable Pain on Magnum. It all over.
As we walking back to Wonderful Beautiful Magnificent Mansion of Yours Truly, I feeling better. Still butt naked, but no more pain. Miyavi and Die suggesting we egging and t.p.ing someone house! I consider I might as well include since something has to being fun this night. I still a bit out of it, so asking Miyavi and Die to picking out house. They choosing one. hydee hyde saying this not good idea, but I shush him because he fat and pregnant like lady, which making him stupid authority figure no one wanting listen to. Miyavi, Die and Yours Truly running around house throwing eggs and toire paper like bunch of kids on Halloween. All while, though, hydee hyde yelling, "Stop! Stop! Gacchan! Stop!" I not wanting listen to hydee hyde! He being "the man." And it Halloween so I saying, "Damn 'the man.'" If I listen to "the man," I not being cool like Miyavi and Die. So continue egg and t.p. house. Sudden, son tapping Yours Truly on shoulder. I turn and son saying, "Daddy, that YOUR house." I turn back to house, Miyavi and Die laughing at me, I look closely at house, then exclaim, "D'oh!"
All in all, it being Normal Plain Boring Average Halloween similar as every year. Only exception is last year having compulsive sex with Shinya of Dir en grey instead of Tetsu. And hydee hyde being fatter than usual. He always fat, but this year fatter than usual. When he loosing weight? |
